Radical Acceptance of Pain Through Somatic ACT
When you live with chronic illness or neurodivergent burnout, the fitness industry’s no pain, no gain mantra isn't just unhelpful - it’s gaslighting. For a body that already hurts, traditional exercise can feel like another demand on an already drained system.
This is where Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Somatic Movement come together. Instead of fighting your body to reach a distant goal, you learn to move with your body to honour a current value.
Shifting from Goals to Values
Goals are destinations. They determine an end point like I want to lose weight or be fit enough to run further. Goals become binary - you’ve either achieved them or you’ve failed. For those with fluctuating capacity, goals can become sources of shame when a flare-up makes them impossible to achieve or they just keep moving further away.
In ACT, we use Values. Things that are truly important to us. In this way, values become directions. If you value Vitality, Self-Care, or Connection to Nature, you can move toward those values regardless of your physical state.
A Goal requires a 30-minute gym session.
A Value, such as Vitality, can be honoured by gently stretching your legs while lying in bed.
Both are successful because they align with the kind of person you want to be.
Somatic Tool: The "Capacity-Check" Flow
To merge ACT with movement, we use the principle of Committed Action. This is the Commitment part of ACT. This means taking a small, intentional step towards your values, even when things are difficult.
Try these three simple steps…
Step One: The Internal Weather Report
Before moving, close your eyes and scan your body. Don't try to change the pain or the fatigue, just label it. "I notice heavy pressure in my hips. I notice a buzzing in my nerves." This is Acceptance.
Step Two: The Value Filter
Ask yourself: "What value do I want to honour today?" Then you’ll match your movement to the value you have identified. For example…
If it’s grace, your movement might be slow, fluid arm reaches.
If it’s strength, it might be a single, solid breath while engaging your core.
Step Three: The Smallest Possible Committed Action
Move in a way that honours your capacity as it is right now. If your capacity is at 10%, a 2% movement is a victory. This isn’t about big steps forwards, but small gentle moments of consistency that build up over time.
The Bad Day Movement: If you are bed-bound, rotate your wrists or gently rock your head from side to side.
The Okay Day Movement: A slow, intuitive sway in the kitchen while the kettle boils.
Why This Rewires the Brain
When we move based on values, we stop punishing the body for what it can’t do and start witnessing what it can do. This reduces the "threat" response in the nervous system.
By practicing Radical Acceptance, you stop the secondary layer of suffering, the "mental struggle" against the pain, that can hurt more than the physical sensation itself.
You aren't moving to change your body, you are moving to inhabit it.
Movement Menu
This values-based movement menu is designed to help you stay connected to your body without using too many spoons. Instead of asking "What should I do?", ask yourself "Which value do I want to feel today?" and check your current energy levels.
Level 1: The "Bed-Bound" Menu (1–3 Spoons)
Capacity: Low. Pain or sensory overwhelm is high. Focus is on micro-movements and soothing the nervous system.
The Heart-Hand Rest:
Value: Compassion
Place one hand on your chest and one on your belly. Feel the rise and fall. No "effort" required.
Say to yourself: "I am choosing to be a safe space for my body right now."
The Ankle/Wrist Bloom:
Value: Vitality
Slowly rotate your ankles and wrists. Spread your fingers wide, then make a soft fist.
Say: "Even in stillness, my life force is circulating."
Eye Tracking:
Value: Curiosity
Keep your head still and slowly move your eyes to the far left, then far right. Notice the tiny muscles shifting.
Say: "I am curious about the subtle sensations of being alive."
Level 2: The "Room-Bound" Menu (4–6 Spoons)
Capacity: Moderate. You can sit or stand briefly, but sustained "exercise" feels daunting. Focus is on fluid, intuitive flow.
Seated Cat-Cow:
Value: Grace
While sitting, arch your back and look up, then round your spine and tuck your chin. Flow like water.
Say: "I can move with fluidity even when I feel restricted."
The Intuitive Sway:
Value: Autonomy
Stand (or sit) and let your body lean left to right at its own natural pace. No "right" way to do it.
Say: "I am the owner of this body. I move at my own tempo."
The Weighted Walk:
Value: Grounded
Take five steps. With each step, feel the entire surface area of your foot meet the floor.
Say: "I am supported by the earth beneath me, one step at a time."
Level 3: The "Out-in-the-World" Menu (7–10 Spoons)
Capacity: Higher. You have the energy for bigger movements. Focus is on expansion and Committed Action.
The Arm Sweep:
Value: Freedom
Inhale and sweep your arms wide and high, then "whoosh" them down as you exhale.
Say: "I am expanding my space and claiming my room to breathe."
Wall Push-Offs:
Value: Strength
Place hands on a wall and slowly push away, feeling the engagement of your chest and arms.
Say: "I am capable of meeting resistance with steady power."
Sensory Walk:
Value: Connection
Walk outside and sync your steps to the rhythm of your breath or a sound like the birds or wind rustling leaves and grass
Say: "I am a part of the world around me, moving in harmony."
How to use this menu:
Check your Spoons. Be honest about your energy levels today.
Pick a Value. Don't pick the movement first, pick the feeling you crave.
Commit. Do the movement for just 60 seconds. In ACT, we commit to the action, not the duration. If you want to continue, you can. But 60 seconds is a total win.
Celebrate. Take a pause and offer gratitude to your body for supporting you in your practice today.
