Embracing Authenticity: Conquer Imposter Syndrome
And live a life of authenticity that I love.
Imposter syndrome is a psychological phenomenon where you doubt your accomplishments and fear being exposed as a "fraud."
Despite evident success or qualifications, you can still experience imposter syndrome and struggle with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. It’s a crippling situation, and can lead to anxiety, self-sabotage, or even stopping doing things you love and are good at.
Imposter syndrome is not uncommon. And even very successful people can experience it, some notable folk include Emma Watson, Kamala Harris, and Ellie Goulding.
Read on to find out more and a few strategies to help you.
What Is Imposter Syndrome?
As mentioned, imposter syndrome is a psychological belief that you are not really who you say you are. You may attribute your achievements to luck, timing, or the assistance of others rather than your own skills or effort. Or you may not see how successful you really are.
I think this is particularly prevalent in our current social media influenced culture. It is too easy to compare yourself to others. Or believe that success came more easily or quickly to other people. There’s also a huge amount of pressure on us all to earn a certain amount of money just to exist due to the cost of living crisis. And we are bombarded constantly to look, feel, do and be better than how we might perceive ourselves. That is a lot to be dealing with.
These internalised beliefs that we are not good enough, should be doing better, or aren’t getting there (wherever there is) quick enough can lead to chronic anxiety, stress, and a reluctance to pursue new opportunities. You may become frozen and immobilised (a nervous system response) as you feel unworthy or incapable of fulfilling roles or tasks.
Imposter syndrome can affect anyone, regardless of your professional or academic background, and is particularly prevalent among high achievers. It can manifest in all sorts of contexts, including your work or professional life, academic settings, or personal relationships. You can even feel imposter syndrome in your efforts as a parent. Or just as a person.
I’ve even worked with women who had imposter syndrome about their own neurobiology. I feel the worry that some women experience about neurodivergent diagnosis (myself included) stems from a kind of imposter syndrome. A belief that we aren’t really part of that tribe and have been ‘making it all up’. This could be related to the misdiagnoses and being passed around the medical profession for years as we try to find out what’s wrong with us.
Some common signs of imposter syndrome include:
Self-Doubt: You may find yourself questioning your skills and legitimacy in your achievements, leading to an internal narrative or worry of being a fraud.
Perfectionism: Setting extraordinarily high standards and feeling unsatisfied with outcomes unless they meet these unattainable benchmarks is a common sign of imposter syndrome.
Fear of Exposure: You could have a constant anxiety about being "found out" or exposed as unworthy or incompetent. This leads to avoidance of new challenges or opportunities. Or the undertaking of more and more courses and qualifications to legitimise your knowledge or skills.
Discounting Success: Do you find yourself minimising accomplishments or dismissing praise? Perhaps believing that others — or even yourself — have overestimated your abilities. This gives you a deep internal worry that you’ll eventually be unmasked.
Overworking: In this situation, you always feel the need to work harder than any of your peers or colleagues to prove your worth. But this often leading to burnout and increased stress, creating a feedback loop of having to re-prove yourself once again.
The Consequence of Imposter Syndrome
In social situations, even with close friends, you may struggle to share your thoughts or validate your own experiences, because you judgement or rejection.
Let’s talk about rejection for a moment. Fear of rejection is very closely linked a sense of shame. At all costs we want to avoid this gut-wrenching feeling, because it speaks so deeply to our psyche and nervous system. Our bodies have evolved to be part of a tribe. Without the tribe, we cannot survive. So rejection from our pack means a risk of death. It is that simple. And devastating.
While our lives may not actually be at risk, in evolutionary terms, our brains can’t always tell the difference. And so when that rejection/shame combo hits, we are left devastated and seeing ourselves as isolated and alone.
This internal conflict can hinder professional and personal growth, as the fear of failure or exposure can prevent you from seizing opportunities or advocating for yourself.
So What Can We Do About It?
Addressing imposter syndrome involves recognising that these are just thoughts, powerful ones for sure, but they don’t have to rule us. It can also be helpful to reframe them. And most importantly, we need to develop self-compassion to counter feelings of inadequacy.
Seeking support from therapy, coaching, or peer discussions in a group therapy setting can also be beneficial in overcoming these challenges. And invaluable in forming a healthier self-perception and sense of self.
Imposter syndrome can stem from internal conflicts and feelings of inadequacy, which can be addressed through Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy - which you’ll know if you’ve worked with me that this is one of my favourite modalities.
Here’s how you can utilise IFS to start to overcome these feelings. Feel free to try this but if you have any very emotional reactions or it makes things worse, book in a session with me and we can work through it together:
Identify Your Parts: Begin by recognising the different "parts" of yourself that contribute to feelings of imposter syndrome. This may include a perfectionist part, a critic, or a fearful part. Take time to listen to each part and understand its role and how it’s trying to help you.
Create Space for Self-Compassion: By understanding that these parts have developed in response to past experiences, you can create a compassionate perspective towards them. Acknowledge their intentions, even if they seem unhelpful. There are no bad parts.
Dialogue with Parts: Engage in a dialogue with these parts using prompts like, "What are you afraid of?" or "What do you need from me?" This helps to clarify their concerns and can form a sense of connection between your Self and these parts.
Access Your Self: IFS emphasises the importance of accessing the 'Self'—the core of who you are that is calm, compassionate, and confident. When engaging with your parts, connect from this place, which helps to soothe and reassure them.
Reframe Beliefs: As you engage with your parts, you may find it helpful to identify and challenge the beliefs that underpin your imposter syndrome. Use the insights gained from your dialogue to reframe negative thoughts and replace them with supportive affirmations.
Practice Integration: Work on integrating the insights from your parts into your daily life. This may involve setting realistic goals, celebrating your achievements, and recognising that it's acceptable to seek help and acknowledge your strengths.
Regular Check-Ins: Make it a practice to regularly check in with your internal system. This helps to maintain harmony among your parts and prevents the resurgence of imposter feelings. I like to meditate with my parts every evening before I go to sleep as I reflect on my day and what came up for me.
Using IFS in this way is a beautiful way to understand the complexities of imposter syndrome. And start to find some practical ways forward. The goal is making a little bit of progress in your journey towards truly seeing your worth and capabilities. In all their glory and wonder.
Diffusion can be a valuable technique in addressing imposter syndrome. This is a great place to start if you find IFS difficult to do by yourself.
Diffusion simply means creating psychological distance or space from your negative thoughts and feelings. Imposter syndrome often involves persistent self-doubt and a fear of being exposed as a fraud, which can trigger anxiety and inhibit your performance. Taking a step away from your thoughts and the internal narrative you tell yourself helps you learn to observe your thoughts without becoming entangled in or ruled by them.
Even though words and thoughts can be extremely powerful — we believe in them — they are not actually objective truths.
It can be helpful to label thoughts as thoughts, or even bring some humour in. Next time you find yourself ruminating on a thought such as, "I’m not good at this," diffusion would encourage you to reframe this thought by acknowledging it as simply a thought rather than an objective truth. A thought is just words, and words are just sounds. They do not have to become your story.
Finally, mindfulness through somatic practices can be very powerful in helping us become more self-aware and compassionate. Try grounding yourself in the present moment and focusing on bodily sensations. Really connect with your body and what it is experiencing as these thoughts come up.
Naming the sensations and breathing through them, allowing for them to pass through helps give you a sense of control over your emotions and emotional reactions. Because often what we fear about imposter syndrome is not just the thought, but the emotional sensation that thought inspires in us.
If you can get to a place where you allow yourself to feel an emotion, and then breathe it through and not feel overwhelmed by it — that is an incredibly powerful place to be. You can step back from your cognitive patterns associated with imposter syndrome. This awareness helps in recognising that feelings of inadequacy are temporary and can be observed without immediate reaction.
Our ultimate goal with any somatic work is to develop a more compassionate self-view. I encourage you to try some of these approaches, or book a free consultation to talk to me about how I can support you. Take the first step to embracing your accomplishments and redefining your narrative beyond self-doubt.
By integrating these techniques, you can build resilience, enhance self-acceptance, and move towards a more authentic expression of yourself. And I think that is a very good place to be.
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Have a beautiful day.
