Create a daily self-care routine that works for you

It can be very annoying when advice we read or are told doesn’t work for us.

There are lots of reasons why we can struggle to change our routine, especially when it comes to self-care. Be assured, this is not because you are somehow faulty or defective! More on that later.

What is important to note is that a daily self-care routine that works for you involves understanding your unique needs, preferences, and lifestyle. Here I’ve outlined some useful steps to help you design a personalised self-care regimen. You don’t have to do them all, and you can do them in any order. That’s right! Even this advice you absolutely can tailor so it works for you.

First, let’s look at why embedding a routine of self-care can be difficult. As I mentioned, there could be a variety or reasons, or combination of the following:

• Neurobiology. People who are ADHD, OCD, or autistic can find changes to routine, or even the very idea of routine really difficult to implement

• Life stage. People who are going through different life stages can find it hard to follow a routine. Teenagers generally aren’t into self-care in the broadest sense it is meant. Women who are perimenopausal can find implementing self-care difficult to organise or fit in due to changes to oestrogen levels. If you’re new parents, self-care kind of feels like the last thing you have time for. There are many moments in our lives when creating a routine, sticking to it, and adjusting it as you evolve can be difficult.

• Interests. You might not be interested in self-care in the traditional way it is seen. But in fact, any kind of time spent doing something you love is self-care.

• General health. If you have a chronic illness, attempting to implement self-care can be a real challenge. It might cost you enough ‘spoons’ just to maintain your current routine, so adding self-care in as well can feel too much. More on this later.

• Time. People who are time-poor can be of the mindset that they don’t have time for self-care. At all.

Read on to find out more.

1. Assess Your Needs

One good place to start can be reflecting on your physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing. Consider what areas need more attention. Are you feeling stressed, fatigued, or overwhelmed? Do you have emotional outbursts? Are you feeling shut down and like you are isolating yourself from other people? Do you want to get fitter, stronger, or more flexible and mobile?

It can be helpful to brainstorm questions like these and then write down the answers. This will help you in identifying what might be missing from your physical, emotional and mental health. And will guide you in identifying a routine that will work for you.

2. Make a List of Self-Care Activities

Another task could be to write down a list of activities that you like the sound of trying for the first time. Or reinvigorating if you have lost touch with the activity. Some ideas could be…

• Physical activities: yoga, walking, dancing, going to the gym, bootcamp style exercise classes, Pilates, running, somatic energy dance classes

• Relaxation techniques: meditation, breathing exercises, somatic movement

• Creative outlets: journaling, painting, crafting, paint by numbers, drawing, playing a musical instrument, writing poetry or short stories, knitting or crochet

• Social connections: calling a friend, joining a group like a book or mindfulness club, joining a walking group, going to a language class

• Personal care: skincare, reading, having sensory baths or showers, massage either self or by a holistic therapist

What other ideas can you think of? Start with what you love doing. And then expand your search by talking to friends, searching the internet, or coming up with lots of different ideas in the same field.

3. Prioritise Your Activities

This step does need to follow the list making.

Once you have a long list, you can start to short list. Work out which activities from your list you find most engaging. Ask yourself questions like:

• Ease of getting to a facility that offers the activity you want to try.

• How expensive it is.

• Whether you need to buy lots of kit or not.

Any of these can be barriers to you starting and continuing an activity. You want to try and remove as many barriers as possible. For example, if you hate driving, but your favoured activity is an hour away, is that going to stop you going regularly?

It’s also best to focus on quality over quantity. It’s more realistic to engage deeply in a few practices than to overwhelm yourself with too many.

And don’t worry if an activity doesn’t hold your interest forever. There are no rules when it comes to self-care! Other than the one that says ‘do what you love.’

4. Building your Routine

Now, the trick here is to find a time of day when your chosen self-care activity can be done. This might take a bit of trial and error. For example, I used to tell myself I’d do yoga after work every day. But it didn’t work for me because I was too tired and had to get on with getting dinner ready. Instead, I do yoga in the mornings right before I have a shower.

So keep in mind…

• Set specific times: Allocate dedicated time slots for your self-care practices. Consistency helps build a habit. But the time slots must work for you.

• Be mindful of your energy levels: Choose activities that align with your natural rhythms. If you feel more energetic in the morning, plan more active self-care then.

5. Start Small

This is absolutely crucial. If you start going too hard at something, it quickly becomes a chore. Introducing little changes is easier to start and maintain. So when beginning your routine, start with short micro care moments. For example, if you’re starting yoga , begin with five minutes and gradually extend as you become stronger and more flexible. Or if you’re starting a new craft, buy a few pieces of equipment and start with an easier project.

6. Allow Flexibility

Self-care should not feel like another obligation. Stay open to adapting your routine based on how you feel each day. If you require more rest, honour that need. This is particularly important for menstruating people or those in perimenopause. Cycle syncing is essential to build a self-care routine that ebbs and flows with your changing hormones and energy levels.

7. Seek Support if Needed

If you're finding it challenging to establish a routine or understand what activities would benefit you most, consider booking some coaching with me. I can offer guidance and support tailored to your individual situation. Or you can spend time with a friend or decide to start a new programme of self-care together. We call this body doubling as it really helps you both achieve more when you’re encouraging each other.

8. Celebrate!

No matter how small the steps, it’s really important to take a moment and give yourself recognition for making a change to your life. Celebrating your progress reinforces positive habits. And gives you the ongoing encouragement you need to keep making progress.

Developing a daily self-care routine is an ongoing journey. By being attuned to your body and mind, you can create a practice that nurtures your well-being and supports your overall healing process. It really is the greatest gift you can give yourself.

Why not share in the comments any progress you’ve made? Or self-care tips that have worked for you?

I also invite you to sign up to my mailing list so I can share new blogs when they come out, and events that are taking place in Cambridgeshire.

Much love

Claire x