Somatic Safety for the Chronically Dysregulated

For when "calm" feels dangerous.

For many, the instruction to "just sit and breathe" feels like a sanctuary. I am fortunate to be one of those people, despite my neurodivergence. (I do have to give permission for my brain to have a little wander round random-thoughts-ville before it settles into full meditation though!) But for those living with complex post-traumatic stress or neurodivergent (ND) nervous systems, stillness isn’t always peaceful. It can feel like a trap.

If you’ve ever tried to meditate and ended up feeling more anxious, restless, or even panicked, you aren’t doing it wrong. You are experiencing a physiological protective response called the sympathetic nervous system state. Your body is interpreting stillness as unsafe and is kicking off your fight or flight response.

The Paradox of Stillness

So how can a quiet room and closed eyes feel like a threat to your body? For a chronically dysregulated nervous system, internal awareness (what we call interoception - the signals your body gives you of your internal state) can be overwhelming.

• The Vigilant Watcher: If your brain is wired to scan more for danger, closing your eyes removes one of your primary safety tools, sight.

• The Noise of Silence: When the outside world goes quiet, the internal world, racing thoughts, physical pain, or suppressed emotions, can get much louder.

• The Trauma of Stillness: For some, stillness was a survival mechanism (the freeze response). Returning to that state can inadvertently signal to the body that it is back in a dangerous situation.

If you’re someone whose body is stuck watching, interpreting silence as loudness or finds being still deeply uncomfortable, calm won’t feel like peace. It will feel like being a sitting duck.

Titration: The Art of "Just Enough"

In chemistry, titration is the process of adding one solution to another drop by drop to reach a reaction without an explosion. In somatic healing, we apply the same principle to our nervous systems.

Instead of demanding 20 minutes of silent meditation, we can approach stillness more gently and softly, using titrated breathwork. This means introducing small "drops" of regulated breathing to build a sense of safety without triggering a system-wide alarm.

As your system adapts, then you can extend the gentle breathwork practice, and maybe start introducing little moments of stillness. Once this feels more manageable, then short guided or movement based meditation practices can be introduced.

Gradually, softly, softly, we teach the nervous system that stillness is safe.

How to Build Safety Slowly

If traditional breathwork or meditation feel too intense, try these titrated approaches to gently expand what we call your window of tolerance - your ability to extend what feels safe to you.

1. Keep Your Eyes Open

You don't have to close your eyes to regulate. Find a "resource" in the room—a plant, a painting, or the way light hits the floor. Let your gaze rest there while you breathe.

Why it works: This keeps one foot in the present, safe environment.

2. The "Voo" Breath (Somatic Vocalisation)

Instead of silent breathing, use sound. As you exhale, make a low, vibrating "Voooo" sound. This is felt deep in the chest and diaphragm. You can also try a deep guttural sigh, like the noise you make when you’re really annoyed by something.

Why it works: The vibration stimulates the vagus nerve and provides a physical sensation to focus on, preventing the mind from spiralling into the void of silence and stillness.

3. Peripheral Pacing

If focusing on the centre of your chest for example as you breathe feels claustrophobic, move your attention to the edges (the periphery) of your breathing.

Try to feel the breath move only in your nostrils, or notice the way your back expands against a chair. I like to lightly wrap a scarf around my ribcage so I can feel my breath expand into it.

Why it works: Focusing on the periphery feels less intrusive than focusing on the core of the body

4. The 3-Second Shift

Don't aim for a state of Zen, your body isn’t ready for that yet. Instead, simply aim for three seconds of intentionality.

Inhale for a count of three, exhale for a count of five, then stop.Check in with yourself: Do I feel safe enough to do that one more time? If the answer is no, you stop.

Why it works: This gives you agency over your own regulation and most importantly, the tools you use to find regulation.

Safety is a Process, Not a Destination

For people who are neurodivergent and for people who have been traumatised (and if you’re ND you’re probably both), the goal of breathwork isn't to reach a state of perfect emptiness. It’s to teach the body that it is allowed to take up space and that it has a choice.

This is the core of all of my work. Helping people give themselves permission to be present, give themselves time, bring awareness, and offer themselves choice.

By using titration, you aren't forcing your system to be calm, you are inviting it to trust you, one small breath at a time. And from there, we can start to build more somatic practices that eventually lead to longer moments of meditation.