What Are 'Parts'? An Introduction to Your Inner World
If you’re new to parts, inner child, or shadow work, one of the first ideas to understand is that while you are a single Self, your mind is made up of many different ‘parts’ or subpersonalities, that form an ‘internal family.’
This is an ecosystem of you. Shaped by your life experiences, upbringing, family of origin, society as a whole, and your ancestry.
Much like your family at home, your internal parts interact, sometimes harmoniously, sometimes with conflict. Each part of you has its own perspectives, feelings, memories, and motivations. They all have different feelings and emotional baggage that they carry. Like pebbles in a backpack - although some can feel like actual rocks!
Some of your parts may be carrying anger. Others are anxious and worried. Another part might be protective of other parts, or vulnerable to particular triggers or experiences.
Just like your real-life family members, these parts influence how you think, feel, and react in every situation you experience.
Feel stressed and anxious around a particular work colleague? They may be triggering feelings of inadequacy or uncertainty from experiences at school.
Having conflict with your partner? They may activate a core wound related to a deep belief you have about yourself that brings up feelings of shame.
When we think about our parts, it’s helpful to keep in mind a few guidelines about them…
Our Parts Protect Us
Very often, we can feel exasperated with a situation, another person in our life that makes us very reactive, or that we get anxious about certain tasks or activities. It is natural to feel frustrated when these things come up time and again.
When we first learn about your parts and how they show up in our daily life, it is therefore a logical step that you’d also feel frustrated with these parts. It helps to know then, that your parts are working in your defence. They are attempting to keep you safe.
All Parts Are Welcome and Have Positive Intentions
One of the key ideas in parts work is that every part has a positive intention, even if their actions seem problematic or confusing. For example, a part that makes you overly cautious might be trying to protect you from harm, albeit in an extreme way.
Understanding this compassionate perspective allows you to relate more easily to your parts without judgement or fear.
Parts Are Not the Same as Dissociative Identity Disorder
It’s important to distinguish between parts and psychological diagnoses like Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). They key differences are:
DID involves severe fragmentation and separate identities that can take control, making a person speak, behave, and take actions that are very different when each ‘personality’ takes over
Parts are understood to be aspects within a single, cohesive Self. These parts communicate and interact internally rather than acting as fully separate identities
The Self is Your Calm, Compassionate Core
At the centre of your internal family is the Self, a calm, grounded, nurturing presence within you. The Self holds qualities like curiosity, compassion, confidence, and clarity.
In healing work, the goal is often to access this Self so it can lovingly lead the internal family, helping the parts to feel heard, understood, and integrated.
Understanding your inner world as a community of parts is the essential foundation for healing and growth in parts, shadow, or inner child work. Recognising each part’s role and inviting the compassionate Self to guide your internal family opens the door to transformation and greater inner harmony.
That is what we mean by healing with this kind of approach. You form a loving relationship from Self to all your parts. Develop more compassionate awareness and understanding of why you behave a certain way in certain situations. And with that awareness can make different choices. We can also work with the nervous system to feel more regulated and grounded in situations that may have felt triggering and activating previously.
