Rebalancing emotions and creating emotional flexibility
Emotional flexibility is our ability to adjust our emotional responses as our circumstances and experiences shift. It basically means having capacity to recognise, understand, and adapt to a wide range of emotional states, whether we are experiencing joy, sadness, frustration, or anxiety.
People who are emotionally flexible can shift their feelings and reactions based on situational demands, which enables them to cope more effectively with life's challenges.
Read on for some tips to create emotional flexibility to bring more peace and calmness when life throws a curveball.
What Is Emotional Flexibility
Emotional flexibility is the ability to adapt our emotional responses to different situations, allowing for a more balanced and resilient approach to life’s challenges.
It is a key part of emotional intelligence, enabling us to navigate complex feelings and transitions with more grace. Which frankly we all need at times. By cultivating emotional flexibility, we can respond to stressors with less overwhelm and reactivity, which brings a sense of calm.
Notice I say ‘less’, not ‘none’. This is important. We are all overstimulated at times. Navigating stressful situations cannot always be done with grace and certainty. There are times when we aren’t fully resourced and don’t have the tools to deal with the situation, or can’t access the ones we have. And that is okay.
While being emotionally adaptable enhances personal wellbeing and improves relationships, it’s important to recognise that as with all this healing stuff, it is a journey. What is crucial is to see that even taking those baby steps toward being more emotionally flexible encourages empathy and understanding towards ourselves and others.
Flexibility and Resilience
Emotional flexibility is closely linked to resilience—a key element in mental wellbeing. When faced with challenges, emotionally flexible people can reframe their thoughts, allowing them to respond more constructively instead of being overwhelmed by emotion.
Remember though that this is a process of healing wounds. If our wounds are getting triggered, our parts will step in to help us. And it is very difficult to be truly emotionally flexible when a part is driving the bus, not our Self energy.
With time and practice, we can get better at being emotionally adaptable. This adaptability can help mitigate the effects of stress and lead to healthier relationships, as it encourages empathy and understanding of others' emotional experiences.
Emotional flexibility also involves being self-compassionate, allowing us to quieten our harsh self-judgment. This acceptance combined with healing wounds brings a deeper understanding of our triggers and challenges, promoting healing and growth.
Practices such as mindfulness, somatic therapy, and Internal Family Systems therapy can support cultivating emotional flexibility. This enables us to engage more fully with our emotional lives and respond to challenges with greater ease and clarity.
How To Be More Emotionally Flexible
Creating more emotional flexibility involves several key practices that allow you to navigate your emotions with greater ease and adaptability.
Here are some effective strategies to get you started:
1. Develop Awareness of Emotions
Mindfulness Practices: Engage in mindfulness meditation to observe your emotions without judgment. This helps you recognise emotions as temporary states rather than absolute truths. Bringing a bit of distance and perspective.
Journaling: Regularly write about your feelings to better understand your emotional landscape. This can help you identify patterns and triggers.
2. Cultivate Self-Compassion
Practice self-kindness when faced with difficult emotions. Acknowledge that everyone experiences emotional struggles and that it's okay to feel a range of emotions. None of them are bad, just like we don’t have bad parts of us. Emotions are messengers, and our reactions are often borne of a desire to be safe.
3. Embrace Vulnerability
Allow yourself to feel and express a wide range of emotions. This can be challenging but is essential for developing emotional resilience. It is okay to cry. It is okay to be angry.
4. Engage in Somatic Practices
Incorporate body awareness techniques such as breathwork, yoga, or dance. These practices can help you connect with your body and release stored emotions, fostering a sense of fluidity in emotional responses.
5. Explore Internal Family Systems (IFS)
Use IFS therapy to identify and understand different aspects of yourself, or “parts,” that influence your emotional responses. By working with these parts, you can cultivate a more integrated relationship with your emotions and a greater connection and relationship to Self.
6. Challenge Limiting Beliefs
Identify beliefs that restrict your emotional expression. Reframe these thoughts to allow for a broader range of emotions and responses.
7. Connect with Supportive Communities
Surround yourself with people who encourage emotional expression and vulnerability. Engaging in open discussions about feelings can normalise the experience of fluctuating emotions.
While practices these approaches in your daily life may not be easy, they are definitely worth trying. They may be difficult to start with, but do become more accessible over time. And they may also abandon you at times of really intense stress. Be kind to yourself and recognise that this journey is unique to you and isn’t linear.
The goal is to make a little bit of progress regularly, and none of us ever reach ‘the end’.
If you’re interested in working with me, check out my psychotherapy offering, group workshops, and women’s circle.
