The Myth of Mind Over Matter—and What It’s Costing Us
Cultural disconnection from the body is a pervasive issue in many societies. This disconnect often stems from societal norms that prioritise mental over physical experiences and the fast-paced nature of modern life. There is an over-emphasis on productivity that can lead to neglect of somatic signals. It’s no wonder we are burnt out, bored-out, and discouraged.
How often at work are you told to be more productive? I was reviewing some neurodivergence support materials for an organisation the other day and the focus was ‘how can we support people so they can be more productive’. This felt so wrong to me. There was no focus on supporting people so they could stop having to mask and fawn to fit into the culture.
Let’s find out more about the myth of mind over matter together.
We Are Disembodied
In many ways in our modern world, the body is viewed as merely a vehicle for achieving goals rather than a source of wisdom and insight.
This disconnection can contribute to a range of issues, including chronic anxiety, stress, and unresolved trauma. When we are disconnected from our bodily sensations, we may struggle to recognise and process emotions effectively.
Symptoms such as tension, fatigue, and a sense of disembodiment can become common experiences, making it difficult to navigate daily life or form meaningful connections with others.
The phrase "mind over matter" suggests a powerful connection where will and determination can overcome physical limitations or emotional struggles. While this idea can be empowering, it also perpetuates a dangerous myth—that sheer mental strength alone is sufficient to conquer all forms of adversity.
In the realm of healing, this belief can be particularly detrimental.
The Answer is Becoming More Embodied
Embodied awareness, on the other hand, is the practice of tuning into the body's sensations and experiences to cultivate a deeper understanding of ourself. It encourages us to listen to our bodies, fostering a sense of grounding and presence.
This awareness is critical for healing, as it allows us to process emotions and experiences that are often stored physically within the body. By reconnecting with bodily sensations, we can gain insights into our emotional states and uncover the roots of our anxieties and triggers.
Nurturing embodied awareness can facilitate a more holistic approach to mental health. As women, embracing this connection can empower us to reclaim our narratives and break free from societal expectations that detach us from our physical selves. Practices such as mindfulness, yoga, and somatic therapies can support this journey, allowing for a profound transformation as we learn to integrate our minds and bodies.
In a culture that often encourages disconnection, the need for embodied awareness is more significant than ever. By developing this connection, we not only heal ourselves but also contribute to a collective shift toward a more balanced and compassionate way of living.
Recognising the wisdom of our bodies can lead to a deeper sense of self-acceptance, inner peace, and a more meaningful existence.
Why ‘Mind Over Matter’ is Harmful
When we emphasise mind over matter, we inadvertently minimise the importance of the body and the nervous system in our experiences. This dismisses the very real physiological responses to trauma, stress, and anxiety that we often endure. The body holds memories and sensations that our minds may struggle to articulate in words. In this context, ignoring the physical aspect of our experiences can lead to chronic issues, emotional numbness, or even burnout.
The cost of subscribing to this myth is significant. Many of us feel pressure to "just think positively" or "will ourselves" into healing. This can create a culture of blame, where we feel at fault for our struggles because we haven't been able to simply "get over it". Such narratives can lead to isolation, shame, and a lack of genuine support.
We can end up hiding ourselves away because it is just unacceptable to ask for help. Or be visibly vulnerable.
By prioritising mind over matter, we overlook essential somatic experiences that could facilitate healing. The science of the nervous system shows that trauma is not just a mental phenomenon; it reverberates throughout our bodies. When we honour these physical sensations, we can unlock deeper healing pathways.
The Holistic Approach
Embracing a holistic approach that integrates both mind and body allows for a more complete understanding of our experiences. Instead of battling against our physical reactions, we can learn to relate to them with compassion and curiosity. Through modalities like Internal Family Systems therapy and somatic practices, we can bridge the gap between thought and sensation, ultimately building a more inclusive and effective healing journey — and society!
In recognising the myth of mind over matter, we can begin to advocate for an approach that celebrates the entirety of the human experience. It’s about nurturing an understanding that healing requires a delicate balance—of engaging our minds while honouring our bodies. Only then can we truly embark on a path to holistic wellness.
How to Love Yourself to Healing
Loving yourself is a vital step on the journey to healing, especially when navigating trauma and chronic anxiety. I know this can be hard. Even saying the words ‘I love you’ to yourself can feel completely blocked. If this happens, I encourage my clients to say these words to a young part of them, as it is often easier to be compassionate to our inner child.
Here are some practical ways to cultivate self-love that can support your healing process:
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
Recognise and validate your emotions without judgement. Allow yourself to feel deeply, whether it's sadness, anger, or joy, without berating yourself that you are doing it wrong, are feeling too much, or for too long. Understanding that these feelings are part of your experience can help you move towards healing.
2. Practice Self-Compassion
Treat yourself as you would treat a dear friend or a child. Speak kindly to yourself and try as best you can to avoid self-criticism. Embrace your imperfections, and remember that it's okay to be human, and have human moments. This gentle approach offers a nurturing environment conducive to healing.
3. Set Boundaries
Establishing healthy boundaries is essential for self-love. Learn to say no to situations and people that drain your energy or make you uncomfortable. It’s okay to ask for space to process your feelings and experience. Protecting this emotional and physical space allows you to prioritise your wellbeing.
4. Engage in Somatic Practices
Incorporate practices such as mindfulness, yoga, or breathwork into your routine. These somatic approaches help you connect with your body, release tension, and develop a deeper understanding of your emotional responses. A simple approach is to lengthen your exhalation as this activates the parasympathetic nervous system bringing a sense of calm.
5. Cultivate Gratitude
Create a daily gratitude practice by reflecting on the things you appreciate about yourself and your life. This shift in focus can enhance your overall sense of worth, paving the way for healing.
6. Nurture Your Body
Feed your body nourishing foods, stay hydrated, and engage in physical activities that you enjoy. Taking care of your physical health can have a profound impact on your mental and emotional state. Incorporating exercise that encompasses balancing (either on one foot, standing on the balls of the feet, or closing the eyes to induce activation of the balance system) builds the cerebellum which is integral to mood regulation.
7. Embrace Self-Expression
Find creative outlets that resonate with you—this could be journaling, painting, or dancing. Expressing yourself can be therapeutic and a powerful way to process your experiences. I have an expressive dance summer taster class happening on Sunday 27th July in Cambridge if you’d like to try collective movement in a safe space.
Embracing self-love is not a one-time act but a continuous journey. By integrating these practices into your daily life, you can cultivate a loving relationship with yourself that supports profound healing and growth.
