Self-calming hand positions for restorative practice
Self-calming hand positions are a great way to regulate emotions, reduce stress, and promote relaxation, especially in moments of anxiety or overwhelming feelings.
These hand positions can be simple and discreet, making them useful in a variety of situations, whether at home, at work, or in public. Here are a few popular hand positions and techniques for self-calming:
The "Self-Hug"
How to do it: Cross your arms in front of your chest, with your hands resting on opposite shoulders or upper arms. Hold for 8 to 15 seconds. You can also squeeze your upper arms with your hands and work your way down to your hands.
Why it works: This position mimics the comforting sensation of being hugged. It provides a feeling of security and activates the body's parasympathetic nervous system, which calms the mind and body. This is a common gesture in babies and children, as it is naturally soothing.
The "Grounding" Hand Position
How to do it: Rest your hands on your lap, palms facing down, with your fingers spread out. Apply a gentle downward pressure. Hold for 10-20 seconds.
Why it works: Pressing your hands down gives you a physical grounding sensation, which helps you feel more stable and centered. It is often used in mindfulness and grounding techniques to connect with the present moment and reduce anxiety.
The "Finger Interlace"
How to do it: Interlace your fingers, palms facing each other, and gently press the palms together. You can also change the position of the fingers so the ‘uncomfortable’ finger is on top. And do a gentle twisting motion with the hands to massage the inner sides of each finger. Concentrate on how the hands feel as you do this practice, notice if the skin feels dry or soft, if the hands are tight or loose, and any areas of discomfort.
Why it works: The sensation of interlacing your fingers can be very calming, providing a sense of control and mindfulness. It also activates the sense of touch and gives the mind a simple focus, which can help reduce stress or anxiety. This is a great practice if you are experiencing spiralling thoughts, especially when done mindfully.
The "Thumb and Finger Touch"
How to do it: Lightly touch the tip of your thumb to the tip of your index finger, forming a circle (this is sometimes called the "gestalt" position). You can repeat this with each of your fingers in turn, and repeat for as long as is needed.
Why it works: This hand position can have a calming, focusing effect. It’s often used in meditation or yoga practices as a tool to center the mind and direct energy inward. The action of focusing on the touch can help you stay grounded and present.
The "Prayer" Position
How to do it: Place your palms together in front of your chest with your fingers pointing upward, as if in prayer or in a gesture of respect. You can bow the head and close the eyes if that is accessible to you when you need it. I like to couple this with a calming long exhalation.
Why it works: This position is grounding and calming, providing a sense of inner peace and tranquility. The act of bringing the palms together activates the vagus nerve, which is associated with relaxation and reducing the body's stress response.
The "Fist and Release”
How to do it: Make a fist with your hand, hold it for a few seconds, and then slowly release your grip, letting your hand relax. Notice the difference in sensation between the gripped fist and the relaxed hand. How the texture and feel of the skin changes from tight to loose.
Why it works: This technique works by first creating tension in your hands (which can help release pent-up emotions) and then consciously releasing it. This process of tensing and relaxing can reduce physical tension in the body and calm the mind.
This is a very useful practice if you are feeling anger or rage. We often form a fist when we are angry unconsciously. By bringing awareness to the action, it helps us regulate. Especially when we then let go of that tension with meaning and conscious action.
The "Palm Up" Relaxation
How to do it: Hold your hands open with your palms facing upward, resting gently in your lap or on a surface, like your desk or a table.
Why it works: This position conveys openness and receptivity, helping to reduce feelings of tension or resistance. It can also help create a sense of ease and relaxation by opening up the body language.
The "Heart Mudra"
How to do it: Place the tips of your thumb and pinky together, with your thumb extended rather than curled round. Allow the other fingers to curl gently inward. The shape created can resemble a heart.
Why it works: This position can be deeply calming and emotionally soothing, especially if you visualise it as a way to connect with your heart space. The heart mudra is also associated with compassion, and using this hand position can encourage a sense of emotional calm and gentleness.
The "Finger Tap"
How to do it: Tap each finger lightly with your thumb, one by one, in a rhythmic pattern. Start with your pinky finger and move toward your index finger, then reverse the order. You can also tap all of your fingers together at once, stimulating the nerve endings. I also like to do this tapping on the outsides of my collarbones, as there is a powerful acupressure point here. And also down the sides of my ribs. I also make a soft fist and tap my lower back, followed by a brushing motion.
Why it works: Rhythmic tapping helps calm the nervous system and provides a sense of focus. It can also act as a grounding technique, bringing attention away from anxious thoughts and into the physical experience of touch. Brushing is also very soothing.
The "Hand Stretch"
How to do it: Extend your fingers wide apart and then gently stretch your hands in all directions. Hold for a few seconds and then relax. Repeat as you need and if this gesture invites further stretching for the body, go with it!
Why it works: Stretching the hands can release pent-up energy or tension, especially if you've been gripping or holding something tightly. It increases blood flow to the hands and promotes a sense of release and relaxation.
The "Spider Walk"
How to do it: Place your hands in front of you, palms facing each other. Then, move your fingers slowly in a walking pattern, like a spider moving its legs. This can be done with one hand or both hands.
Why it works: This gentle, rhythmic motion engages both focus and tactile awareness, calming the mind and helping reduce stress. The slow movement of the fingers can help bring you into a meditative state.
The "Lotus Hand"
How to do it: Place your hands together in a prayer position, but instead of keeping them together, allow your fingers to open up slightly, creating a shape that resembles a lotus flower. Hold for 20 seconds. Pair with a calming breath, like box breathing (4 in, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4).
Why it works: This position is often used in yoga and meditation practices. It symbolises the opening of the mind and heart. The openness of the hands can create a feeling of calm and balance.
The "Steeple" Position
How to do it: Place the tips of your fingers together, with your palms apart, creating a "steeple" shape with your hands. I also like to move my fingertips closer and further apart as I find the feeling of the finger tips pressing and subtly moving to be very centring.
Why it works: This hand position can help with relaxation by fostering a sense of connection and mindfulness. It's commonly used in meditation, as it helps you focus while also calming the nervous system.
Additional Tips for Using Hand Positions
As I mentioned in some of the exercises above, pairing a hand gesture with another calming, mindful practice can bring extra soothing. Here are some ideas for you.
Combine with Deep Breathing: Pairing hand positions with deep breathing (like inhaling through the nose for 4 counts, holding for 4, and exhaling through the mouth for 4) can enhance the calming effects. Personally, I like to do this with a 478 breath (inhale for 4, hold for 7, breathe out for 8) as I find this is the most calming breathing pattern for me.
The key with breath work is to understand how it is working with the nervous system, then you can play around with breath to find what works for you. At the basic level, the breath has a direct effect on the vagus nerve, the nerve responsible for our autonomic nervous system and sympathetic and parasympathetic responses. A longer exhale activates the parasympathetic response. Sharper and deeper inhalations activates the sympathetic response.
Practice Regularly: These hand positions can be most effective when practiced regularly. Try them when you’re feeling calm as a form of preparation, so they are easier to use when stress or anxiety arises. This is called muscle memory and becomes something automatic that we don’t have to think about.
Use in Combination: You can combine multiple positions depending on the situation, such as pairing a grounding hand position with deep breathing or focusing on sensations to stay present. Bringing this awareness to sensations is called interoceptive awareness, and is a key part of regulating the nervous system. Once we become more attuned to our body, we become less frightened by the sensations we experience.
Becoming embodied is such a powerful way to heal from traumatic experiences or the fear we have around feeling frightened. Being activated into a sympathetic response can feel really uncomfortable, and we can end up feeling fearful of this activation. This is in essence what is at the heart of a lot of anxiety. We become afraid of the feeling of being anxious, and so start to avoid the places, environments, and people who bring up this sensation.
Getting familiar with our interoceptive signals takes the power of fear out of them.
These hand positions are simple and easy tools that can be used anytime to help calm your mind, reduce stress, and stay grounded. Once you become attuned to them, you may find you are already using one or two of them naturally without even realising it.
If you are drawn to work somatically to heal your body, why not check out the rest of my site? There’s loads of our journal entries on useful and interesting topics. My services page explores all of my offerings, including working with me one to one with therapeutic coaching and therapy.
